Still not thinking clearly
I'm still muddled after the trauma of unexpected accusations. But the process of thinking through someone else's stuff is almost over. Strange how others can attribute motivations to us that would never even cross our minds. I have been so exhausted lately by trying to fit in, to keep my ideas to myself, to honor a hierarchy that demanded control, when a team that flows with ideas and mutual good will is more my style. These last 2 years have been very hard, and it will take a while to bring my authentic self into the safety of my space again.
Today, visiting with a former coworker, I remembered the choir camp I led about 15 years ago. I was made "leader" by default (other leader jammed out a few weeks before camp). I put in place permission for everyone to exchange info, encouraged parents to come up with ideas for consideration, no matter how "silly" or "radical". I asked them to use their gifting, experience, and talents. I welcomed strengths and clearly laid out my weaknesses - "Pick up the slack, please," I asked. "You're good at things I'll never be good at or interested in. I'm counting on you!" At the end of the camp, the counselors gave each other tearful hugs, exclaimed that they had never worked harder, had more fun, or enjoyed themselves more at any camp. Many of the parents became close friends, and I know some friendships that have continued. Why? because we created a team that valued each member, no matter how small or great the talent. We assumed good intentions and everyone was invited to bring their skills and interests for the good of the camp and the children.
Lynn helped me balance my view again by sharing her own quitting process and her determination to stay in her own story, rather than entering someone else's drama. Walking away to do something we love without losing our self-respect is a great achievement, especially if it marks a new beginning.
I'm looking forward to the "room" process, which we'll kick off on Feb. 16 - Hopefully I'm home. I have to check the dates for the Gerson series I'll be doing in Edmonton. I have appointments, lunches, and papers lined up into March and beyond. Where did I ever have time for full-time work outside the house?
Today, visiting with a former coworker, I remembered the choir camp I led about 15 years ago. I was made "leader" by default (other leader jammed out a few weeks before camp). I put in place permission for everyone to exchange info, encouraged parents to come up with ideas for consideration, no matter how "silly" or "radical". I asked them to use their gifting, experience, and talents. I welcomed strengths and clearly laid out my weaknesses - "Pick up the slack, please," I asked. "You're good at things I'll never be good at or interested in. I'm counting on you!" At the end of the camp, the counselors gave each other tearful hugs, exclaimed that they had never worked harder, had more fun, or enjoyed themselves more at any camp. Many of the parents became close friends, and I know some friendships that have continued. Why? because we created a team that valued each member, no matter how small or great the talent. We assumed good intentions and everyone was invited to bring their skills and interests for the good of the camp and the children.
Lynn helped me balance my view again by sharing her own quitting process and her determination to stay in her own story, rather than entering someone else's drama. Walking away to do something we love without losing our self-respect is a great achievement, especially if it marks a new beginning.
I'm looking forward to the "room" process, which we'll kick off on Feb. 16 - Hopefully I'm home. I have to check the dates for the Gerson series I'll be doing in Edmonton. I have appointments, lunches, and papers lined up into March and beyond. Where did I ever have time for full-time work outside the house?
